Bike Sex

A Scottish man named Robert Stewart was caught having sex with his bicycle by housekeeping in his bedroom at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr. Being very supportive of sexual exploration, I think that three years probation is a little much for this drunken hookup. I mean c'mon, he was just kickin back in the privacy of his own hostel room and drinkin some brews. The next thing you know, the bike is calling him a bitch and saying he doesn't know how to please a bike. A man has got to defend his honor, and most importantly, his skills at sexual bike gratification. Believe me, I understand. If someone broke into to my house while I was having sex with my guitar and arrested me, there'd be a serious price to pay. Hmm, maybe I should go out more...

Link

The Ka Bird

This is creepy. I didn't know that owl's could get that thin. Poor bird.

Jim West, Desperado, Rough Rider. No, you don't want nada!

Well once again it seems that The Wall of Wall is way ahead of the rest of the cultural armchair pundits in determining what the New Hotness really is. For years, we have talked about Will Smith and his classic films like "Wild, Wild West", "Men in Black 2" and of course "Hitch", then the other day we saw this ad in the uber-trendy Los Angeles magazine. It can only mean that finally the hipsters have caught on to the coolest cowboy in the wiki-tiki-tiki West, someone who's not afraid to go head to head with the biggest mechanical spiders around. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you mister Jim West!

Classic Quote Overheard at the Alibi Cafe

"I think you're mistaking me for James Joyce"

Blazing Mouse

Here's a classic from the Wall of Wall archives. An old man found a mouse knocking about his house and thought it would be perfectly humane to throw it on his bonfire, probably to add a hint of rodent to the smell of burning leaves. However, it turns out the mouse had other plans and ran back inside the house, setting the place on fire and destroying all of the man's home and possessions. Just another reason why not to trust a blazing mouse.

BBC story

Chavez to play Newman

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez has been granted new special powers after an extraordinary assembly vote in the main square of the capital, Caracas. First on his list of things to do was to create the long awaited biopic of Mad Magazine spokesman Alfred E. Newman. "This has been a life long dream of mine," he told his listeners, "and now that I have these magical powers, I can finally make that wish come true!" Chavez will star as Newman, despite having never acted professionally. American director Michael Bay is attached to direct and the release date is scheduled for March of 2008.

Hole-fowitz

Link:http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/6316765.stm

Seems the cheap bastard Paul Wolfowitz is even cheaper than we thought. Apparently he's too busy jerking off to himself in a full length mirror to go and buy a new pair of fucking socks. I just hope the neo con stink of his big toes didn't kill anyone in a five mile radius.

Duck Norris pt 2

Link:http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/6309159.stm

So Duck Norris has added a few extra tabs onto his chalkboard of badassness: Dying on the operating table, making everyone cry, and then coming back to life. This guy knows how to put on a fucking show, much like a certain bearded individual I know. He was killed, left for dead, and still came back to life, a week later. Coincidence? I think not.