Chavez to play Newman

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez has been granted new special powers after an extraordinary assembly vote in the main square of the capital, Caracas. First on his list of things to do was to create the long awaited biopic of Mad Magazine spokesman Alfred E. Newman. "This has been a life long dream of mine," he told his listeners, "and now that I have these magical powers, I can finally make that wish come true!" Chavez will star as Newman, despite having never acted professionally. American director Michael Bay is attached to direct and the release date is scheduled for March of 2008.